Ready!

My 3-year-old daughter likes to be ready. I was reminded of this several times when I reached into my pocket today for my phone. There were two things in that particular pocket today, my phone, and a peanut - whole and in the shell. The reason I had a peanut in my pocket all day was not in case I got a wee bit peckish, but just in case we saw a hungry squirrel. My daughter had one, and I had one, and there was an extra satchel of nuts in the car "just in case we ran out" after we ran into a REALLY hungry squirrel.

She's not just ready to feed squirrels, she's ready to see her daddy. He's working elsewhere for 8 weeks and we're joining him after the first 3 weeks. The day after daddy left on the plane, I came home to find her bag packed and in the living room by the door. I used up all my best persuasion tactics convincing her that the suitcase should be in her room, and there were no tactics left to persuade her to unpack it. Nevermind that she's only packed toys, a book, lip gloss, her scissors, a pair of socks, and a pair of shoes, she's Ready to see daddy.

Every time I see that suitcase (or feel the peanut beside my phone), I ponder what it means to be ready. Am I ready for adventure, ready for good surprises (like a famished squirrel), or even - am I ready for Jesus to return to earth? Do I have my spiritual bag packed and by the door?

I started this blog to talk about raising children, and I think one of the best things about having children is how many things they can teach us. Jesus said to have a child-like heart, and I think in this case I need to make my heart more like my daughter's - suitcase packed with my favorite things, ready to see my Daddy.

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Update: This morning I was just getting ready to head out the door when my daughter spotted Mr. Hungry Squirrel on our porch digging in our flower pot for a nut he buried a few weeks ago. I whipped out my handy peanut and got hers out of yesterdays pants and we were able to feed him many, many peanuts. Guess it pays to be ready. :)

Why your child asks why

A few days ago, my girls went to the local coffee shop with Daddy, which is always a mixed experience for the parent because the traffic along the route makes it a struggle to keep the little ones out of harms way. The payoff is relaxing with a cup of tea, a muffin, and two happy kids.

This particular visit our older girl had to use the facilities and Daddy wrestled the stroller and our 3-year-old through the crowds of coffee sippers to the back of the coffee shop and into the restroom. After the potty break, daddy suggested they head home through the back door, which was met with the customary response, "why?". "Just follow me and you'll find out" was Daddy's reply. This opportunity to trust was not accepted, so the two repeated their question and response back and forth with escalating frustration. Finally, Daddy said with exasperation, "Why do you have to know?" Her doe-eyed reply was, "Daddy, I can't help it. My brain is small and I can't understand things sometimes."

At this, he melted into a pool of butter and explained to our little morsel that it is easier to push the stroller out the back door than back through the throngs of people. The three companions then walked home together.

Now whenever she asks me that pestering, "Why, mommy?", I take a moment to think of it from her perspective and realize it's not that she doesn't trust me, just that her understanding of the world is small.

Tip for Transition Times

My daughter has a very short attention span and concentrates deeply on whatever is at the forefront of her mind at any given moment. As such, if I present her with an abstract proposal such as: "Let's get your shoes on and go outside to find snails", she will often have a difficult time deciding whether or not she'd like to stop pestering daddy and come outside with me.

The easy way to get her outside, rather, it to walk out the door while she's talking to me, find a bucket and put it in her hand, and say, "I think I see a snail on that geranium plant over there". This method is visual, in-the-present, and practical and makes it easy for her to transition to a new activity.

Nanny vs. Daycare

Having experienced both having a nanny watch my children or taking them to daycare (I work part-time as an Aerospace engineer), I would definitely recommend a nanny and here's why:

1. With a nanny, they follow your directions and try to fit your style of parenting. With a daycare, you try to adjust your child to the care provider's style.
2. When you have two children like I do, the cost of a nanny is almost identical to the cost of a daycare center.
   
3. It's a LOT of work to bring bedding, clothing, diapers, drinks, food, medication, etc. to daycare every day in addition to the hassle of getting 2 kids out of bed, dressed, fed, into the car, and out of your arms and into the care provider's.
4. Swinging by daycare to drop off the kids extended my commute time in the mornings and evenings, which generally makes life more stressful (less time to make dinner, etc.)

The downsides of a nanny are:

1. You have to deal with a lot of tax paperwork and pay a little extra for social security tax.
2. The cost is a little higher.
3. They can quit/get sick/go on vacation which can put you in a bind if you don't have a flexible schedule (I do).
4. You have to make a special effort to make sure your kids get socialization from other children and learn what you want them to (their letters, numbers, music, etc.).
   

Overall, the benefits outweigh the downsides for me. One last tip: If you are looking for a nanny, put a post on Craigslist (www.craigslist.org). Write a bit about what you are looking for - experience, drive their own car, first aid training, etc. - and then include your hourly rate and a little bit about your family and your parenting style. I got 20 responses in 24 hours with several good possibilities (but I do live in a major city, so that probably helps).

Happy childcare hunting! Whatever you decide, make sure that you and your child(ren) are both happy with it (after maybe a week or two of adjustment time). It is possible to have complete peace of mind when your children are being cared for by others.

Warning regarding bathing two kids at once

So, last night I set the baby bath in the bottom of the shower and filled it up with water while undressing the baby and letting the pre-schooler start to play in the shower. 10 minutes later, the baby was happily bathing and kicking in her little tub (splashing a little water on me all the while). Just then, big sister pipes up and says, "That looks like water, but it's tinkle". I say, "no, it's not". She says again, "Yes it is, it's clear like water, but it's tinkle". After a few minutes of this exchange, I clue in to the fact that big sister did me and little sister a "favor" by doing #1 in little sister's tub before she got in it. Needless to say, big sister got a consequence for this action and little sister got a fresh bath.

Water Fun

We don't have a bathtub at our house - just a shower. So we have to be creative in finding bath toys for our daughter to entertain herself with. The blessing here is that we don't have to watch her as closely since she can't drown herself very easily in a shower (no plug so water doesn't collect). One of the disadvantages is that she recently discovered how to pull off the drain cover and drop things down. The first time she did this, she dropped a magnetic dart, and the dart recovery process took an hour and a half and included use of a rod from the kitchen blinds, duct tape (MacGyver taught me how essential this can be), a sponge, scissors, string, and a spoon (which also was dropped down the drain and later retrieved). My daughter kept saying, "we're doomed, we're doomed!", but that's a story for another day.

This post is supposed to be about ideas for entertaining your child in the shower, so here goes:

• bath crayons (crayola) and bath paints are great for drawing on the walls if you have glass doors in your shower like us (they don't come off grout very easily, though)
• old shampoo bottles are wonderful for pouring water back and forth, especially if there is leftover bath paint, which can be used to tint the water
  
• a bar of soap can be used for drawing on the walls and chasing around the shower (although it can make it slippery) and a squeegee can be used to clean the walls. This is endless fun.
• plastic window stickers can be placed on the walls and rearranged

Post your ideas in the comments!

Trips and Ticks

Welcome to my first blog! The purpose of this blog is to exchange tidbits of knowledge related to encouraging, disciplining, and entertaining the little rascals that run around so many of our homes. I don't claim to know everything about child rearing (certainly not!), but I enjoy talking about it.

I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions as well. :)